GTA
General Discussion To Gateway To Airguns => Back Room => : CharlieDaTuna November 27, 2006, 03:53:41 AM
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brother is retired police officer and my niece sent this to me.
The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "Just how big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
The envelope please.....................
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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I was getting ready to post thread about tuners when I came across this & couldn't pass it up.
In my wanderings through the world of public service I was primarily a firefighter but I spent a couple of years as a police officer. In reference to your post I came up with the following:
HAVE SAID: 13,10,3,5.
WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SAID: 14,12,7,6,1.
DIDN'T THINK OF: 15,11,9,8.
REFERENCE #2: My answer to the "I know your Chief" threat was "Good, my name is clearly printed on the citation so you'll know who to complain about".
HEARD MOST OFTEN: #4 (both as a Fire Department Paramedic & a Police officer).