GTA
General Discussion To Gateway To Airguns => Back Room => : Gene_SC February 07, 2007, 07:08:36 AM
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HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM
EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in
a hospital.
During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her
armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote
control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
Eeewwwww.....
*_*_*_*_*_*LY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan , a man came into the ER with
lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in
her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion
I would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife,
it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with
a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were
fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea
of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same,
I'm sure!)?!!.
The concrete then hardened, (no sh*** Sherlock!), causing
constipation and pain. Under general anaesthesia, a perfect concrete
cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
(Boy - we live sheltered lives!)
BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER
complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses.
He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped
back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without
success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man
did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip
out the membrane of his cornea. (Oh my gosh!!!)
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! ----- A couple hobbled into a Washington
State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man
had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her
head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that
romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
table to administer oral sex to the man (classy or what??). While in the
act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the
man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation,
the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! I'm still laughing!!!!
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Men, Believe it or not,
I went out with an emergency room nurse, when I was younger than today, and the things that people do to themselves is truly beyond all imagination.
They have tools to remove pool balls form the mouth and/or the rectum, as well as shot glasses form the rectum !
And she told me that this was common every weekend someone would wobble in with this problem.
And then there was the fat prisoner that had cocaine under her stomach flaps, and a loaded 38 special under one of her breasts.
When I studied psychology, I was taught that anything that a normal person can think of, no matter how disgusting or horrable, happens every day, somewhere ! And that the truly unimaginable things, that we have a very hard time believing, come from sick minds...and occur regularly.
Think about that,
Bill
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Have worked some of the rougher ER's in this area.
Everyone with something stuck up their rear "fell on it".
Prisoners will often jam odd things into their penis, some of which won't come out on thier own.
Have seen 1/2 a balaony sandwitch modlering under a breast of a 530 pound woman (now there is a memory I'd galdly lose).
Have seen a dime grown into the skin in a abdomen fat-fold...was festing and weeping, but was pretty much covered.
A roofer with his left hand nailed to his head...he didn't make it, but for a time he was running around the ER talking to things that weren't there.
Watched the maintanece guys dissasseble the door to get a 645 pound woman (that's a minimum estamate..we don't have scales that go that high) to fit through.
Was expalined to me that to get hampster into your rump, you need a cardboard tube...lots of KY jelly, and reliance on the hampster's fear of fire.
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....going to go gouge out my eyes for fear of ever reading something like this ever again. That stuff is just wrong!
There was however this woman I dated while I was a young 20' or old teens, and something about a squash, or a cucumber, and, well, never mind....but I almost decided to keep the handcuffs she gave me as a gift :p
Just kidding, ....mostly.
Dan
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Think happy thought's, think happy thought's ed. Gene WHAT web site have you been on.Dano , so your a tossed salad man. what kind of dressing do you use hehe. Ed
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Glad this gross stuff stays in the back room.. I got the original joke from a friend from the UK. Did not think ya all would take it a step further... OH MY!
Gene
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yea know us,Dano started it, hehe. Ed
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It wasn't me, it was her, then Gene, and a midget? .....................eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!!!
Dan
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I can see a nightmare coming on tonight, thank's Dano. Ed :p