GTA
General Discussion To Gateway To Airguns => Back Room => : Big_Bill November 25, 2009, 04:28:52 AM
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1. AVIOD CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN
SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING
SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU SLICE !
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES
ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
USING THE SINK !
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD RESSURE SUFFERERS -
SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A
FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE
PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.
REMEMBER TO USE A TIMMER !
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR
ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP
AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A
LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE -
WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESEN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT
SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
DUCT TAPE.
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No wander our economy is going bad because of home remedies >>>
The Economy Is So Bad That...
* I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail.
* Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
* Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.
* I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
* Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
* A prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
* I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border into Mexico.
* I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.