GTA
General Discussion To Gateway To Airguns => Back Room => : brokenarrowjbe January 28, 2008, 12:32:20 PM
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... Names have been removed to protect the stupid!
Actual Letter from someone who farms in Kansas.
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up --
3 of them.
I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it... it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a
deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
out of the big gash in my head.
At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head -- almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse -- ; strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
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He certainly got an education didn't he ?? :)
Jeff
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MaNature take's care of her own with force sometime's and as for BillyBob what did he expect from a ........WILD ANIMAL! key word WILD!. I would have like to been behind safe cover watching this......with a vidcam lol lol. Ed
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Yeah,,,, a video of that would certainly be "PRICELESS" :D
Jeff
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That must have been a VERY NEW Farmer, probably just in from the BIG CITY Collage, where he studied animal husbandry and agriculture !
Folks in the Big City have some very unusual ideas concerning the words "WILD", and Animal. It seems to work out well for the animals though ! It sure helps when they thin out the stupid, in our gene pool !
I understand that the Mountain Lions in California, realy enjoy jogging these days !
Bill
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SAD :emoticon:
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Apparently he had watched to many Bambi movies...:)
Gene
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Maby him and the Guy that hunt's pig's with the Gamo should get together, ok you rope it and I'll shoot it.! :o Ed
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HeHeHee :D
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This farmer is already feeding the deer good cattle food. Why not just shoot the deer like most normal hunters, then eat it. Looks like a Gamo Extreme with a well placed .177 PBA pellet would work. HEHEHE!!! :p
Dan L
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LOL...reminds me of the host of the old TV show "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" where he would say something like " I'll stay safe in the truck, while Jim lasso's that Alligatorrr.....Um I mean Deer...hehe.
Greg
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Park attendant showed me some pictures of a pregnant doe head thumping (with hoof) another doe at a feed site. Brutal. Mean.
Charles
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Been a long time since I've laughed this hard and long:)
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Meanwhile, back in camp, Marlon is hiding behind the Land Rover, hoping the little kitty-kat (who blew into camp, lookin' for an easy meal) continues to bat grass-hoppers around and frolic in the weeds, until nap time...
...now, where was that fancy-feast cat food?
Charles
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OK, I almost peed my pants laughing at that one. Why doesn't he just shoot one like intelligent people. Kind of reminds me of those 2 idiots, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, saying that, instead of hunting deer, we should give them "deer condoms" to use. Based on that deer's behavior, I think I'll let Alec and Kim put the rubber on the buck's johnson.
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that story is in a class of it's own,i thought i was gonna have a heart attack from laughing so hard,i honestly could not breathe,and to boot my girl couldn't help me ,cause she was reading with me,what makes it even funnier is the way he wrote it,i,m sure glad to be part of this forum,cause god only knows that i needed a good laugh.......it's been a while since i had a good one....maybe they should make a movie staring Robert Deniro called "THE TRUE DEER HUNTER" HA.HA.HA.
JOECUZ(akita breeder)
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Tell this guy to come to Hawaii. There is a red pig that comes into my Uncle's yard during mango season. I wonder how much he would charge to rope that cute little piggy for us?
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Seems like a lobbyist gave another farm to a politician.