Seeing things that are not there.

[Gene_SC]

I see things.. Shadows and people sneaking about quite often. It makes me want to go inside the house when I am outside working and not come out. But then I start seeing things in the house. This became more frequent this last year. I am speaking out about this because I feel it will help me to talk about it. Sleepless nights, night terror dreams and night mares have plagued me for the last 18 or so years. And the last couple of years it has increased. I just wanted to share some of my personal ailments with my brothers and sisters on the GTA.

Gene

[shadow]

My dad went through the same thing my friend, he is also a NAM VET and yes the best medicine was to talk about it and get it out. We are all here buddy, one big GTA FAMILY shoulder to lean on and were here ANYTIME for you, we'll get through this together. Ed

[Timmyj1959@yahoo.com]

I really dont know what to say right now Gene,, I am litteraly in tears right now hearing of your pain. Please hang tough Buddy. Just remember,, you are LOVED by many,, especially me.  Let me compose myself,, I,ll be back. Tim.

[RCnMo]

Gene, I see that eleven people have visited this thread and nobody has posted. I wish I knew of something to say that could help you out. I have never met you, but I feel like you are a brother to me. I speak for many on this forum when I say you have taken a great step forward by posting again. It takes a strong person to come out and say what is ailing them. I'm too chicken sh@t to say what I feel, but, I have been losing a lot of sleep the last two months over what has been eating at me. My menace hasn't been with me nearly the 18 years that have plagued you, and I feel like it's destroying my health. This forum is good medicine for me because I think people care about others here. Hang in there buddy!

[daved]

Hey, Gene, you've got my phone number, use it any time, day or night.  My wife is plagued by depression because of her MS, I know a little of what you're dealing with.  Take care, pal.

Dave

[Splash]

We're all here for you Gene, there's ALLOT of strength in #'s. The more you talk about it, the better it will get. Get yourself a notepad and write it all down, that will also help. Give a shout if you ever want to talk.

[longislandhunter]

Gene,,,,  as the others have said,,, you have come to mean a great deal to many of us here.  You are truly a special person, that fact is born out even more by the courage you've shown in sharing the details of your pain with us,,, to do that takes more courage than most people will ever have.  With the inner strength that I and the others know to be inside of you combined with the heartfelt prayers and concern of those who care about you I have no doubt whatsoever that you will beat this.  I will continue to say a prayer for you each night as I and many others have been doing...  

Jeff

[PeakChick]

Gene, no one can feel and experience exactly what you are, but I can say I can relate, a bit. I went through a very bad patch of depression about 5-6 years ago. I was literally in the depths of a disease that I never really understood before, and frankly would have dismissed as frivolous. I was at the point where I merely exisited, was on a dark, dulling auto pilot. I was considering how to end my pain in dark, frightening ways. I got some help, pharmacuetically and did a lot of research on the deseases that can plague even the best of us. The things that pulled me back were the thoughts of all the things that I would never experience angain, the sound of my grand daughters laugh, their smiles, the sight of the mountain vista that I get to see everyday and took for granted, the music that moves my soul, all the people that loved me................ You have many people that love you, care about you a great deal. I am certainly one of them.

Talking about the things that are difficult in your life is probably the best way to get them out in the open, where they can be addressed and out in the past. You can always be open with your friends, family here Gene. You know that you can call me anytime, and chat about anything.

Your"buddy",
Stephanie

[Timmyj1959@yahoo.com]

Gene,, I HAVE met you & spent 2 days with you. You were kind enough to welcome me ,, put me up in your home,, hell,, Ya even fed me!! The time we spent together having a few cold beers & shooting not only airguns but the "Shi$" is PRICELESS to me.  You are a VERY SPECIAL person Gene,, I have the highest respect for you,, You have a heart of gold & Character second to none. NEVER have I met someone that I have bonded with so closely so fast. Dont let those VN Demons win Gene. The fact that you were Man enough to post this just reiforces all that I have said about you & the kind of HONEST person you are. It has been SOOOOOOOOO GREAT having you back here again Buddy. Hang in there,, I,m still trying to figure out what I can do to help Ya.  TS Hannah is giving us a fit right now,, if we lose power,, dont think I am not "ON THIS". I,ll be back. Love Ya Gene,, your Little Buddy,, Tim  (& Family).

[Big_Bill]

Hey Gene,

I had the nightmares, even when I was still in Vietnam. Some how I learned to recognise when I was dreaming, and stepped in, and control them. It was like recognising the dream was a rerun, and laughing at as it went away. If you can recognise that it's a dream, you can defeat it, because now your back in control, of your dream.

The dreams still come, but knowing there just dreams, doesn't bother me any more.

As for people, I see cats ? just blurs running by, in the corner of my eye, it's good that I love cats.

CALL ME ANY TIME BUDDY, YOUR MUCH LOVED !

Your Friend in Arms !

Bill

[3n00n]

You've got lotsa buds Gene, and you can give any of us a call any time you need to chat. Of course, plinking, texmexand suds may also be a welcome diversionary tactic if you'd like to havesome company.

`

You know we're here for ya, sojust let us know!

[SweetCrazyOne]

Hey Gene,

 You can call any of us any time of the day thats 24-7 & I'm pretty sure that goes for anyone on the GTA. I deal with depression daily and I know its not anything compared to what you are going through. I have survived this far but I went through some ruff times. From drinking & drugs, to locking myself in closets, to hurting myself, missing work & just doing some crazy things. Just hang in there & I'm sure there will be better days for you!!!!

[Big_Bill]

Gene Buddy,

Just an added note :

We made it back from H3LL, don't let the DINKS GET YOU DOWN ! NOT NOW !

You have GREAT FRIENDS HERE ! WE WANT YOU ! WE LOVE YOU ! AND WILL FIGHT FOR YOU ! GIVE US A CHANCE !

We fought the GOOD FIGHT, and Will Fight it Again !

Bill

[TCups]

It's easy to feel like you are all alone, on your own sometimes.  But always remember that you have many good friends here on whom you can count, day or night, whenever you need us, Gene.  

Tommy

[leftcoast1]

I'm no doctor but I see it's your brain fooling you with the blurs or shadows then your state of mind reverts back to your fighting days and it's seems beyond your control. Just try and relax and train your brain back to knowing it's just a flash back and nothing is there. I know I make it sounds like it will just happen but I know you will have to work at it. You have done awesome just by opening up to us. The more you talk about it the easier it will become to train your brain. Try hanging out with others and if it is happening with them around look at them as they carry on it may help you relax and help the fear subside. I don't know ok I'll shut up now which is probably what I should have done to start with. Sometimes it's better to sit and listen then to offer advise. Hang in there buddy keep the keyboard flowing.