Thought you might get a kick out of this...my

[CharlieDaTuna]

brother is retired police officer and my niece sent this to me.

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?  Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going?  I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair?  You want me to be fair?  Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours.  So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please.....................

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?   You're right, we don't.  Sign here."

[nmmike]

I was getting ready to post thread about tuners when I came across this & couldn't pass it up.

In my wanderings through the world of public service I was primarily a firefighter but I spent a couple of years as a police officer. In reference to your post I came up with the following:
HAVE SAID: 13,10,3,5.
WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SAID: 14,12,7,6,1.
DIDN'T THINK OF: 15,11,9,8.
REFERENCE #2: My answer to the "I know your Chief" threat was "Good, my name is clearly printed on the citation so you'll know who to   complain about".
HEARD MOST OFTEN: #4 (both as a Fire Department Paramedic & a Police officer).