Author Topic: There must be another way to do this, ... ;) (Read 2823 times)

North Pack · « **on:** August 10, 2009, 10:58:52 PM »

On the subject of Colonoscopies...

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies.

[Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.]

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11.. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all.

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

TCups · « **Reply #1 on:** August 10, 2009, 11:53:56 PM »

Another way to do it? It's called "Virtual Colonoscopy" and it is done with a high speed multi-slice CT scanner. Yep, colonoscopy is right up there with prostate biopsy and retina exams as a few of my favorite medical things. But it could be worse . . . I could be a woman.

HILMAN76 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 11, 2009, 05:55:53 AM »

FOLKS,GET THOSE COLONS CHECKED.THEY FOUND POLYPS ON BOTH MY 35 Y/O AND 38 Y/O SISTERS. THEY WERE THE BAD ONES TO..NO PROBLEM THO, THEY WERE CAUGHT EARLY.. I AM A 33 Y/O MALE, AND NOW FREAKED OUT BECAUSE THAT CRAP RUNS IN THE FAMILY.. BUT I WANT TO BE A HEALTHY OLD MAN SO I AM GOING TO GO GET THE OLE BUNG HOLE CHECKED..

Gene_SC · « **Reply #3 on:** August 11, 2009, 05:59:28 AM »

Good idea. Your chances of having cancer of the colon is higher according to what I have read in medical jounals. I have gone every 5 years for the last 20 years for a scope job...

A word of advice. Do not eat any eggs, raw oysters, clams, Italian or Mexican food the week before you get your exam....

Make sure you drink the whole bottle of liquid colon blow that they have you buy and drink the night before your scope job.

North Pack · « **Reply #4 on:** August 11, 2009, 08:17:19 AM »

I've had four so far, - and probably due for another next year. First two were "wide awake" the other two were sedated a tad. The "wide awake" ones were an "attention getter", - actually not all that painful, but uncomfortable as all h*ll.

Traolach · « **Reply #5 on:** August 11, 2009, 08:51:07 AM »

My Dad didn't like to go to doctors and never mentioned the problems he was having even when he began bleeding heavily. By the time that he did say something and my mother nagged him to the doctor, it was too late. He died at age 63 only 8 months after his cancer was found. Terry

HILMAN76 · « **Reply #6 on:** August 11, 2009, 09:03:28 AM »

ONE THING ABOUT BEING MEN IS WE SOMETIMES LET OUR MACHISMO GET IN THE WAY AND SAY "NOPE" NOTHING AND NOBODY'S TOUCHING MY REAR END!! THERE LIES THE PROBLEM,..GOD FORBID YOU END UP WITH SOMETHING AND NOW YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE AND THINGS IN AND AROUND YOUR REAR..EVERYBODY NEEDS TO GET CHECKED, MAN OR WOMAN..DON'T WAIT TILL ITS TO LATE..GET CHECKED IN YOUR 30'S..DONT WAIT TILL YOUR 40'S...JUST MY 02. CENTS :emoticon:

RedFeather · « **Reply #7 on:** August 11, 2009, 01:12:32 PM »

A guy went to get a colonscopy and the doctor told him to drop drawers, bend over the examination counter and he would be right back. While waiting for the doc's return, the patient glanced around. When the doc returned, he said "I can figure out what all this fancy equipment is for, Doc, but what's with the cold bottle of beer over there?" The doc picked up the beer bottle, turned around and yelled, "Nurse, I said get me a BUTT LIGHT, not a BUD LITE!"

Timmyj1959@yahoo.com · « **Reply #8 on:** August 11, 2009, 01:16:13 PM »

I just turned 50 2 Saturdays ago while visiting Gene.

Now that Im 50,,,, I missed out on that "Check Up" in my 30,s & 40,s. GuessIm good to go!! :p

:0 Sorry,,,, I just dont trust Doctors all that much,,,,,, "Cept" one,,,,,, my Buddy Tommy!!

And to be honest with Ya,,,,, I dont know if I like Tommy that much to trust him "There"!!!!!

:p

LOL!! Tim.

TCups · « **Reply #9 on:** August 11, 2009, 02:04:39 PM »

Well, Timmy -- if you ever have a breast problem, I am your guy. But I dont work on any parts "below the belt" any more. A colonoscopy once every 5 years after age 50 is probably cheap insurance. I had mine without any sedation and it wasn't too bad. Heck the worst part was having to fast and take the bowel prep the evening before. Butt enough of that. LOL

BTW, I will send you a PM, too, but I need another 8.5 x 11 in trap grooved to hold a standard 9" wide clipboard next time you have some 2x6 or 2x8 scrap lumber and your power saw running. Am I right that there are "doings" planed for later this month in Charleston? Roger says he is going.

SDale · « **Reply #10 on:** August 11, 2009, 03:29:55 PM »

A guy went in for a prostate exam and when the doc stuck his finger in there, he found a wad of hundred dollar bills. He counted the bills and told the guy "Hey, I just found $1800 bucks in yout butt!" and the guy replied "Well THATS why I ain't been feelin two grand!"

Timmyj1959@yahoo.com · « **Reply #11 on:** August 11, 2009, 03:45:10 PM »

Quote

SDale - 8/11/2009 11:29 PM A guy went in for a prostate exam and when the doc stuck his finger in there, he found a wad of hundred dollar bills. He counted the bills and told the guy "Hey, I just found $1800 bucks in yout butt!" and the guy replied "Well THATS why I ain't been feelin two grand!"

Lame,,,,,, "DEEP" :p ,,,, I still had ta laugh Sam!!:p

Tim.

SDale · « **Reply #12 on:** August 11, 2009, 04:03:12 PM »

It's all I could come up with on such short notice! hehehe

gamo2hammerli · « **Reply #13 on:** August 11, 2009, 08:49:02 PM »

Just make sure the doc don't have both his hands on your shoulders while he's checking you.

I had it done last year and they snipped off 4 Polyps (spell ?)....the non-maligned kind....whew.... I was sedated.....didn't even know they probed me.....the nurse slapped at my insteps to wake me up....and I said, "Are we ready to start?" and she said, "It's done.....you can leave now." I exclaimed, "WHAT....are you sure?" heh heh

tunaboat · « **Reply #14 on:** August 11, 2009, 11:16:40 PM »

Stanley
My experience was similar to yours. Woke up and its like lets eat, I'm hungry. The worst is the prep like everyone has said. Best advice. Don't get more than 50ft from the restroom at any given time. Don't let anyone crack any jokes while your on the prep and don't bend over to tie your shoes.

Get the check up. You owe it to the people who care about you.

GTA

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Author Topic: There must be another way to do this, ... ;) (Read 2823 times)

North Pack

There must be another way to do this, ... ;)

TCups

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HILMAN76

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Gene_SC

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North Pack

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Traolach

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HILMAN76

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RedFeather

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Timmyj1959@yahoo.com

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TCups

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SDale

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Timmyj1959@yahoo.com

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SDale

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gamo2hammerli

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tunaboat

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