1. AVIOD CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN
SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING
SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU SLICE !
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES
ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
USING THE SINK !
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD RESSURE SUFFERERS -
SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A
FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE
PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.
REMEMBER TO USE A TIMMER !
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR
ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP
AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A
LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE -
WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESEN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT
SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
DUCT TAPE.
